Hurry Up and Wait: How to Stay Busy During The Off Season

I read once that, for some of us, there are only two seasons in the year: Football Season and Waiting For Football Season. I've just about reached my breaking point. It's been two months since the Super Bowl and it's still two weeks until the NFL Draft. And once that is done, it will be another four months until the pre-season games kick off.

Sure, we get thrown a bone here and there: Free agency has provided a lot of excitement for the Cleveland Browns this year and fueled speculation that Phil Savage (a good ol' Alabama boy) will pull some draft day magic and get us back into an early round. College teams have played their spring games, which is a nice treat during this Time of Famine.

But ultimately, it's a whole lot of nothing until you finally get to the something. How does a football fan stay sane?

1. Watch NFL Network.
Right now I'm getting my fix on the Browns/Miami game from last season. Whoo hoo! Bodden just intercepted! Braylon Edwards just scored! The best thing about the replays on NFL Network is that you know how it ends. If you prefer to watch the glorious victories, you got 'em. If you like to mash the bruise that is a defeat (Cinci! Arggggh!) you can do that too.

2. Argue with other fans.
Come on over to the Browns forum on cleveland.com and get into the fray. Pick a side. Waffle. Taunt your fellow fans on their choice of quarterback. Sign up for Stoolers Troll Sniper Duty. And when that gets old you can wile away the time with occasional sexual innuendo, Monty Python quotes and further battles over how your musical taste is far more refined than that of the average fan.

3. Review your fan gear.
Has the guy on your jersey been traded to another team? If you're a Bengals fan, has he been incarcerated? If you're a Miami fan...do they still play football there? How about your caps collection? Time to replace it if there are too many salsa stains or if that "one more beer" during the last home game resulted in fall-induced broken bill syndrome. The off-season is a good time to build your fan wardrobe. Get yourself a golf shirt with a tasteful logo, and get yourself a T-shirt with a less-than-tasteful message to Art Modell (or the scourge of your choice).

4. Proselytize.
We all know those people who understand that football exists but have no further grasp of its importance in our world. Teach them a few terms. Buy them a shirt if you have to, but spread the gospel. And gents, most of these unwashed are women. If it's true that there is no greater zealot than a convert, you may manage to create yourself the perfect girlfriend: one who knows that when the game is on, all else takes secondary status. (Note: You are probably not likely to reform a wife.)

5. Plan Ahead.
Once the final season schedules are released (hopefully soon), you can get a jump start on your watching/attending/tailgating plans for the season. Get a whiteboard and map it out. Get your newly converted girlfriend to plan menus. Give the gameday party room a fresh coat of paint.

Just stay busy. It will get here eventually. Please.