It's a Man's World

I like men. Always have. Since I was a baby, my mother says, I have always preferred to hang out with the guys. But this isn't without its pitfalls. No matter how much a woman likes to hang out with men, she isn't one. And no matter how much a guy thinks he's modern and in touch with his feminine side, he's still a guy and thinks like a guy. We're different animals, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I have often used this as my argument against women in combat in the military. It's not that I have doubts women are capable of doing their jobs. It's because men assume certain roles and develop certain agendas, and they can't help it. And when they do this it throws everyone off their game. Again, it doesn't make them bad. It just makes them men. Recently I have solidified this theory thanks to the football forum.

It's the same situation: you have an army, if you will, of fans, allied to a certain team. Ever vigilant, they patrol the posts for trolls and interlopers from other fanbases. Like different branches of the military, they break into their own little factions vying for importance and dominance, and sometimes engage in mock battle, like the Army-Navy game. It's all very primitive and exciting! Throw a woman into the mix, and all this standard Man Business gets disrupted.

In battle, as in sports forums, men will far outnumber women. For every one woman you may have a dozen or more men. Of this dozen men, they break down roughly into four categories: He-Man Woman Haters, Casanovas, Knights in Shining Armor, and Normal People.

Get this straight right away: In a dozen men there will be no more than two Normal People. Those are the guys who treat you as a peer and go on about business in an efficient way. Of the other 10 you will have three HMWHs who, as their description suggests, hate you for your female silliness and how you damper their willingness to post about bowel movements and naked chicks. You'll have four Casanovas who imagine that you are somehow desirable (based on little to no real knowledge), and spend the day trying to virtually seduce you. The remaining three are the KSAs who rise to your defense against the HMWHs, usually to their own detriment.

Based on my own experience, it makes it difficult to just be yourself as a woman. Should you be combative and take on your critics "like a man?" Should you return the playful innuendo or not? Should you be grateful to those big brother types who want to guard you, or tell them to mind their own shops? There is no right answer. And I dare suggest that if my theory held up in a military unit you'd find quite a few men getting gunned down in not-so-friendly fire by some overwhelmed lady soldier. I maybe wrong, but I can see it happening.