Dad

I had to take my father to the doctor today, and I was dreading it. Usually my sister takes him. This is because she understands him and gets along with him, and I don't and seldom do. My father and I never learned how to talk. For years, when I was a teenager, our communication consisted of hostile and confused glances or else we just used my mother as a go-between. Given my mother's flair for the dramatic, I realize now it probably only made matters worse.

But things are changing a bit. Now that he's started having memory lapses and acting a little goofy, we get along better. At least we did today, though the trip was not without its difficulties.

To begin, my mother, sister and father all called to make sure I hadn't forgotten. This added at least a half hour to my fixin' time because none of them can ask a simple question and then get the hell off the phone. Once fixed, I went to pick him up, causing a second minor controversy about what vehicle we were taking. Didn't I want to drive the van? No sir. If I'm driving, I prefer to drive my own car. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I'm absolutely sure. Positive. Do you want me to drive the van? Because I will if that's what you need. No? Then we'll drive my car. Yes, I'm sure. Absolutely. Positive. Fine.

Once in the car, he pulled a Diet Sunkist out of one jacket pocket and a Diet Grapico out of the other. He complained that there was change in the cup holder, so I cleaned it out and he put the Grapico in the cup holder. He never opened it. On the way to the doctor's office he turned on the defogger when he thought I needed it and adjusted the rear view mirror until I couldn't see out of it. This behavior, incidentally, has nothing to do with his memory lapses. He's always been like this.

At the appointment, I asked if he needed me to go in with him. To help him remember what the doctor said. No. That's completely unnecessary, young lady! About 20 minutes later he came back out and began giving me a report on what the doctor said, which ended with the words, "I can't remember what all he told me."

Then we had lunch. He asked if I liked Captain D's. No. It's so greasy. Yes, I did used to like it, but not so much now. Yes, it has been a while since I had it. Yes, I am aware that you can choose from a number of delicious side items including corn-on-the-cob. Look, if you want to eat at Captain D's I can eat there. It's fine. No, don't get extra hush puppies. I don't want them. OK, get them. So we got extra hush puppies. They weren't eaten.

On the way home we stopped at WalMart. Daddy asked me if I needed to stop there, and I just said yes because I knew that meant he wanted to stop. So we did. We both spent about $10. He got something that will remain tied tightly inside the WalMart sack for months until it is forgotten (again, not new behavior), and I got some coat hangers and a Jimi Hendrix T-shirt.

All-in-all, it wasn't a bad day.