To Winners

I was delighted to see the Miami Dolphins of 2007 get their first win of the season. I felt miserable for them all year. No matter how much money a guy makes, to fail so horribly at what you do is not something I'd wish on anyone. So when they got the overtime win with that notoriously deadly Lemon-to-Camarillo pass, I was thrilled. Of course, they beat Cleveland's traitorous AFC North rivals, the Baltimoron Ratbirds, so the win couldn't have come over a better team unless it was Pittsburgh.

And I'm on record right now hoping that, unless my team can pull off one of the biggest upsets in the history of football and beat New England in the second round of the playoffs, I want the Patriots to go all the way, perfectly. Undefeated. And it's not because I have the hots for Tom Brady. We've already established that it is grossly unfair for him to be so gorgeous and talented as well. I admit, it is because I want somebody--ANYBODY--to equal that 1972 undefeated Dolphins season and shut Don Shula and the rest of those guys up.

There is really something sick about hoping a team loses just so you can say your team was the only one to go undefeated. Be proud if that is the case, but don't wish the failure on others and certainly don't celebrate it with a champagne toast. And Mercury Morris...please. You are 60 years old. You don't need to be on SportsCenter rapping trash-talk about some stuff that happened 35 years ago and waiting to celebrate a Patriots loss should that occur. I mean, seriously: Does anybody think the 1976 Tampa Bay Bucks were hoping this year's Miami team would duplicate their winless season just so they won't be the only one's? I doubt it. That would be classless, to wish someone that pain. Equally classless to hope no one else very gets to feel the supreme joy of a perfect year.

Go Pats, and way to go 2007 Dolphins.